Sunday, October 14, 2007

Top 10: Ways to Make a First Date Unforgettable

The first date is always a make-or-break situation. If you play your cards right, you set the stage for a whole lot of hot fun. But mess up and you’ll NEVER hear from her again. Unfortunately, most guys screw up the first date so badly that the woman changes her phone number and moves out of state. Use these 10 tips to make yourself unforgettable in a good way:

10. Set the date up right

An unforgettable first date starts with a solid setup. When you call her a day or two after getting her number, do not waste time on the phone. Get straight to business. Say something like, “Hey, I don’t have long to talk, but I wanted to touch base and say hi. I’m going to be busy today and tomorrow night, but let’s get together Saturday for a cup of coffee and some stimulating conversation…” Bang. Done. Don’t linger any longer than you have to. She’ll get the impression that you’re a busy guy with a busy life, and that she’ll have to EARN space in your calendar.

9. If she says no

If you ask her out and she says, “I’m sorry, I have plans,” just say, “Cancel them! I’m more fun than whatever you’re doing.” Even if she doesn’t cancel (she probably won’t, which is fine), she’ll get a laugh, and it’ll show that you’re confident -- which is a HUGE turn-on. Just make sure that if she does cancel, you make it EXTRA fun and exciting by following the tips below…

8. Leave her alone

When you’re out together, leave her alone once in awhile. Let’s say you’re out together at a store window shopping. Most guys will stick right alongside of the girl they’re with the entire time. BIG MISTAKE. Instead, walk away from her into a different part of the store once in awhile and let her come find you. This can make a HUGE difference in the way she sees you. At a subtle level, walking away from a woman communicates, “I’m confident and independent. I do what I want with my life, and I don’t need to stay right next to you every second to get your approval.” Women find this kind of independent man EXTREMELY attractive.

7. Stop being extra nice

When we men are around attractive women, most of us tend to act like we want and need the woman’s approval by acting extra nice, extra courteous, kissing up, and letting her lead. The paradox is that needing her approval -- and behaving like you need it -- will NEVER cause her to feel that gut-level attraction for you. NEWSFLASH: Just because this is “common social courtesy,” doesn’t mean it works. Ironically, the way to get her approval and make her want you is to NOT NEED IT in the first place… and make sure she’s aware of this fact. Do this by making her work for your attention and approval. Don’t hand it to her on a silver platter by tripping over yourself to be “extra nice.”

6. Never give a direct answer

Never give a woman a direct answer… unless the answer is NO. If she says, “Can we sit here?” I say, “No, let’s sit in this one next to it.” Or if she says, “How do you like my dress?” I say, “Well, give me a few more minutes to see it on you.” If she says, “Call me tomorrow,” I say, “No. You call me tomorrow. Come on, you want me and you know it.” Use everything she says as a way to playfully show that you’re the one in control, you’re not easy to please, and that you can already tell that she secretly digs you.

5. Don’t be afraid to turn it up

If she complains about you or doesn’t like something you are doing say, “I’m glad you like it,” and then do it more. If she doesn’t like a song on the radio, turn up the volume -- in a playful way, of course. If she says, “I don’t really like it when you say that,” say, “Well then you might want to leave because I say it a lot.” This sends a clear signal that she can’t control or manipulate you by complaining like a little girl.

4. Keep your composure

Most men can’t keep their composure when a woman tests them. But losing your composure is one of the fastest ways to lose your chances with a woman. So expect women to test you. They have to… how else can they know for sure if you’re really, really, REALLY the real deal? When she tests you, never let it take you off balance. Respond by communicating with your body language, voice tone, smiles, and words that you think it’s actually kind of CUTE. If you do have to put your foot down, always come from the place of, “I just don’t spend time around people that are unstable,” not from the place of, “This is upsetting me emotionally, and I can’t keep my cool.” Think James Bond, George Clooney in Ocean’s 11, or Clark Gable in Gone with the Wind. These guys are ALWAYS in control… and never lose their cool.

3. Make your move

Obviously, men are the ones expected to “make a move.” But it’s easy to become overtaken by fear of failure at that critical moment… to the point where you FREEZE UP and don’t do anything! This, of course, leads to not succeeding at all. A woman will let you die on the vine before SHE makes a move. Sure, she’ll be disappointed that you didn’t gather the courage to do it, but not so disappointed that she’ll do it herself. Why? Because if you can’t assert yourself, then you are NOT the kind of man she’s looking for. So when the moment comes, do the thing you fear and “make your move” -- she’ll thank you for it, believe me.

2. Make it her first time

Remember the first time you rode a bike? Your first high school dance? Your first girlfriend? The fact is we tend to remember the FIRST TIME we do things… and you can use this to your advantage when hanging out with a woman. Find out something she’s never done before, and incorporate it into your first date. Even if it’s something as simple as a far-out cocktail or an off-the-wall flavor of ice cream that you love and that she’s never tried, you’ll make a lasting impression in her mind. She’ll never forget the date and, more importantly… she’ll never forget YOU.

1. Build attraction

Most guys confuse the word “attractive” with the word “attraction.” Attractive is how a person LOOKS. Many guys think, “I’m not physically attractive, like a Brad Pitt, so I won’t be able to succeed with women,” and they psychologically give up. But ATTRACTION is an emotion… it’s the feeling you get toward another person when you have a sexual interest in them. The thing to remember here is that women can feel a very powerful ATTRACTION toward a man who’s not very attractive physically. And you can make yourself far more attractive if you take the time to understand that a woman’s “attraction mechanism” is triggered as much by your personality and style of communication as a man’s attraction mechanism is triggered by the physical beauty of a woman. So forget about your looks and, instead, LEARN how to make women feel attraction for you.


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